Advice on Marriage & Relationships
Christmas is a time of year that can easily overwhelm all of us. It is often the case that our relationships are low on our priority list and during the Christmas season our spouse can land even lower. So how do you keep your partner as a priority when it makes sense to divide and conquer the many events, recitals, hosting obligations and financial obligations?
Relationships are more than the sum of its parts. Your relationship is an interaction between you and your partner. These interactions can be intentional or unintentional. When it feels like you and your partner are giving it your best effort and you still feel frustrated look to the pattern between you.
I am always searching for the beliefs that either put my clients on the path toward their goal or the one that impairs the client from reaching their desired outcomes. As a marital therapist this endeavor becomes more complex as two individuals in the relationship have unique perspectives about themselves, their partner and their mutual relationship.
As people process a betrayal there is often a point when they wonder aloud how they could be fooled so easily? Spouses say “I completely trusted my partner”. Yet as couples attempt to repair their relationship the next wondering that surfaces is “How can I trust my own judgment?”.
Recently I was interviewed by Caroline Wagner of CBC Calgary’s The Eyeopener regarding a modern-day relationship challenge…Herbivore/Omnivore relationships.
Can a vegetarian and a meat eater sustain a successful and long-term relationship?
In a lot of cases, it comes down to values. Listen to our interview below and read the entire article on the CBC website.
Does this sound familiar? You and your partner see a situation differently. After a number of exchanges the conversation becomes emotionally charged and one of you becomes upset. At those times we are often told that we move into a fight or flight response and either want to exit or escalate the conversation.
When couples come to therapy they often say they hope to interact with their partner differently. They believe change will improve their relationship. I anticipate couples will make changes in the way they think and behave in order to meet their goals. But how do we change when our habits seem so powerful?
The Fundamental Attribution Error is a tendency to explain our own behaviour in situational terms and others’ behaviour in terms of character deficits.
The degree to which we feel a close emotional connection with another person is the result of a series of experiences with that person. Confidence in another to be attentive, responsive and kind is a necessary part of the development of marriage and, despite being such an important aspect of marriage, emotional intimacy at times feels elusive.
Interdependence is one of the objectives for many couples in marital therapy. Husbands and wives recognize that what once was a mutual dream for their lives together has become parallel paths where spouses rarely meet. With our busy lives it sometime becomes difficult to find time to even talk about our day with one another.