Many couples struggle to find a good match in couple friends. The wife might really like the female in the relationship, or the husband might really like the male in the couple. Often one might be too loud, drink too much or be a little dull. These incompatibilities can spill over into disagreements between the couple or result in isolation or individual friend groups.
There is a great deal of focus in the therapeutic community for empathy in relationships. Many a therapist in a couple’s counselling session has attempted to increase the empathy of one spouse toward the other in the hope of increasing their emotional intimacy.
In therapy, we can talk a lot about the problem, but the better option is to flip the problem and create clarity by asking what the opposite of the problem is. In my practice, I ask people how they would be experiencing their relationship differently if there was a miracle in the night and it was fixed.
I am always searching for the beliefs that either put my clients on the path toward their goal or the one that impairs the client from reaching their desired outcomes. As a marital therapist this endeavor becomes more complex as two individuals in the relationship have unique perspectives about themselves, their partner and their mutual relationship.
Recently I was interviewed by Caroline Wagner of CBC Calgary’s The Eyeopener regarding a modern-day relationship challenge…Herbivore/Omnivore relationships.
Can a vegetarian and a meat eater sustain a successful and long-term relationship?
In a lot of cases, it comes down to values. Listen to our interview below and read the entire article on the CBC website.
When couples come to therapy they often say they hope to interact with their partner differently. They believe change will improve their relationship. I anticipate couples will make changes in the way they think and behave in order to meet their goals. But how do we change when our habits seem so powerful?